Thursday, March 27, 2008

Happiness is ...

Happiness is ...
... having a box of yummy rich chocolate where you can enjoy together with your loved ones...
Bought this box of "Prestige" chocolate at Eastpoint after my medical appointment today. Given its richness & smooth, its price of $1.25/10g is rather reasonable. Having tried the Godiva Chocolate before, I would say "Prestige" dark chocolates are not too bad, rich & smooth & yet more affordable than most brands in the market.

My happiness can be very simple... Although most times I wish for a lot better things in life, but actually, to make me happy is very easy. A box of yummy rich chocolates and the thought of my family enjoying the chocolates makes me happy, though expensive to me, is money well spent !

Back to my medical appointment, the barium test result is negative, the doctor can't diagnose any problems with me. After all the X-rays / tests / scope, etc; the doctors can't really trace the source of my throat uncomfortness. After 2 months of medication, my throat condition is not showing much signs of improvement. So basically they believe the main cause is due to acid reflux. Again, today's doctor asked if my job is very stressful... I vaguely recall during my first appointment, the doctor has suggested the few possibilities - acid reflux, stress, nose problem.

I do belive the main cause is acid reflux when I first kept vomiting with acid. Now, I wonder if stress is actually the main culprit. Although aparently, I'm working with shorter hours and knocking off earlier, having more spare time for personal as well, however, the stress level do not seems to be going down. In fact, the stress is more than ever, and I started to have self doubts & has developed fear!

Fear differs from the dreadfulness that is developed in previous jobs. The dreadfulness is caused by the many restrictions, office politics, system constraints, etc... But now, fear is referring to me afraid of myself not being able to meet the standards, the fear of not knowing what will be talked behind my back next. In this hyprocitical place, people seems nice but in actual fact, you know that they are ready to shoot at you anytime. I do not mind feedback, though maybe negative & hurting at times... I may react slightly negative in the initial given my pessismistic character, but usually I will cool down and give it a good thought over it. The thing that I hated most, is when I was assured everything is fine; and the next moment, one just turn behind my back and tell a different set of theory.

Just logged in to company's webmail and there is 248 emails in my inbox and I spent almost an hour just to briefly browse through and sort out the emails. Is all these building up my stress? I'm sicked of working 8-6, but I do not have the courage yet to make the first move as I have many concerns. I yearn for the encouragement of my loved ones, but sadly, I get more disapproval than what I wished for...

Disappointed... but nevermind, happiness is, I just got a selling space on Groovie Java Scraps Cafe to sell my stash from 29/Mar - 2/Apr! Dear friends, wish me good biz, ok?

2 comments:

  1. Dun be discouraged, k? we all love u. She is just a bit stress these days.

    Try go for a boring admin job which u dun need to read ur email @ home and focus more on ur biz as first step?

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  2. Stay Happy !! Remember when things are not the way it is, It's not the end yet !!

    Try getting another job if this is taking a toil on your health.

    Use your spare time on your scrapbooking biz & if biz is good, why not sack your boss?

    hahaha...I will continue with my dog biz dream...maybe next year, I will be doing something different too.

    All The Best !!

    Regards,
    Shanice (Bee Har)

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