Thursday, December 20, 2007

Sorry, my dear friends...

Met up with YL & PG on yesterday for a dinner. We went to 天津馆at Bras Basah Centre. It brought me back to the memories where we last had our teabreak there. I have never realised the existence or rather, never bother about the existence of this restaurant as I had the impression, price should be pretty steep over there, but surprisingly, their charges are rather reasonable. And the one that most melted our hearts and melted in our mouth is yet just a simple and cheap bun - 花卷 @ 70cts each.

Surprisingly, prices remains the same despite the GST hike. Tried several other dishes which are highly recommended by YL. Simple as they may seemed, like home cooked food, but taste fantastic; 清炒白洋菜& 红柿番茄炒蛋, and of coz their specialty dish, 饺子.

PG asked about why you did not join us for dinner, I do not know how to answer so just plainly said that you are busy with you work. She posed the same question again a while later, I was wondering if she has seen through anything through my eyes or through my tone. YL then step in, "Aiyo, they are always like that, usually on weekday, he'll be busy with his work while she'll be busy with her work." It is a relief to me to put this topic to an end.

Yes, closed friends know that we seldom met on weekdays, usually probably once over a weekend, and at times not even once a week when you are super busy. They always have the impression that we are both working very hard towards OUR furture, but, this probably had already, without our knowledge, planted a time bomb in our relationship.

Till date, I'm still unable to tell YL what has happened coz whenever I thought of her pressing me to quickly settle down and excitedly talking about being my bridesmaid, with many ideas in her mind. I can't bring myself telling her the truth, and seeing the shock on her face. I guess, over time, she will realised that we are distance apart and will be easier for her to accept it.

Same for JT, I also couldn't bring myself to tell her what I'm going through now, though she has sensed something wrong with my MSN nick and tried probing. Her previous failed relationship has brought much hurt to her that she lost over 15kg and even today, after 3-4 yrs, she is still suffering from depression and need to go for counselling. She had used to envy me, with such a caring and loving one, and had hoped that her current bf can be half as attentive. I'm not sure if my failed relationship will have any impact on her, but, I'm afraid, and will be guilty if it does...

Sometimes when JT compared you with her bf, she somehow showed a sense of sadness and insecurity... If a 2-way love can just broke off without signal, how about the relationship that she is having now? Many people do not think their relationship will last as it seems more of a 1-way love. Would my break off caused her to loose confidence in her current relationship (just like I used to have no faith in love due to the many broken relationship that I've seen around me)? And will this lead her to further depression? I cannot allow this to take chance.

I know YL & JT will probably be angry or even disappointed with me when they eventually get to know the truth one day. They will be angry / disappointed with me, depriving them the chance to stand by me at my most difficult time. But, pls forgive me, my friends, I love you...

No comments:

Post a Comment